Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Recent wild tantrums
Hi, I am new here so I hope this question hasn't been asked a million times already. I have twin two year olds and recently one of them has been having awful tantrums for no reason I can figure out. I know he knows what's wrong, he just can't communicate it to me. I'm just not sure how to handle the tantrums--do I just let him flail on the floor wildly, rolling about and flopping all av the room? He won't let me hold him, or if he does he still screams and flails around like a floppy fish. He also likes to bang his head against the wall and sometimes he even head butts me! I'm just not sure what to do. I consider myself an attached parent and use gentle/positive discipline and I try to learn more everyday as none of my family or friends around me really parent this way. Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks!!
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I have twin boys too but mine are only 4 moths old. :)I think there are times with my 2 year old where she does just have to get it out and it isn't appropriate for me to try and "stop" the tantrum. He may need that stress release and if you've tried calmly (very important!) talking to him he may just need to calm down first. When this happens I just say "you look really upset. I'll be here when you calm down and are ready to talk."I'm wondering what leads to the tantrum? Finding out what causes that level of frustration in him and giving him tools for managing his frustration when it begins (instead of when it boils over) could really help. Do the tantrums happen in relation to his brother?In the meantime make sure he has words - "I'm mad"; actions that are acceptable - making an angry drawing, hitting a pillow, going to a place where he can scream, etc.; and a place he can get away and calm down like a calm corner with books.
ReplyDeleteWhen trying to figure out what the source of a tantrum is, we've had to go to more creative solutions recently. We notice that behaviors change with certain food items. You can almost guarantee we'll have a shouty, stomping, angry little guy if we've been to a family outing or celebratory occassion where rather large quantities of juice, sugar, salt, and artificial coloring are usually consumed. I also think overstimulation for these tiny people can be a big cause of a meltdown. Just by listening to more traditional always on the go families' advice on how they schedule their days and naps, etc. we grossly underestimated the amount of rest our child needed. Most toddlers are seriously rest deprived. When he's well rested, sufficiently (but not overly) stimulated, given appropriate attention and a means to express his emotions, and has a belly full of healthy food, his grumpy moments are now mostly nonexistent... MOSTLY LOL!
ReplyDeleteMy twins are 20 months old. My Baby A has the exact same tantrum when he is over tired. We had become so lax on their bedtime because we were having fun playing in the evenings that everything got completely out of control and things went downhill fast. We're now on a strict bedtime routine ensuring at least 11 hours at night, always praying for more, and 2 hours in the middle of the day. We haven't had a tantrum since starting this about a week ago. This may be a different problem that you are having, but it's what's worked for me.
ReplyDelete(from facebook)I have twins as well, mine just turned 5 a couple of weeks ago. Prevention is your best weapon against tantrums. Try and find a way they can tell you what is wrong. Act it out and have them show you. I still do show me with my girls. Once they get to that point you just have to let him work it out and calm down first. Then you can address the issue.
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