[dropshadowbox align="none" effect="lifted-both" width="100%" height="" background_color="#fffbc9" border_width="1" border_color="#fceb5c" ]This post was originally published during the 2010 Carnival of Gentle Discipline. The 2012 Carnival of Gentle Discipline is right around the corner! Click here for more information.[/dropshadowbox]

Gentle Discipline 101

Michelle at The Parent Vortex talks about Gentle Discipline in this way,

[G]entle discipline focuses on helping children work through difficult emotions and frustration in a supportive and empathetic environment and using discipline as a method of teaching children instead of simply punishing them for misbehaviour and rewarding them for good behaviour. Gentle discipline does not primarily aim to control children through external motivators such as rewards, praise or punishment, but rather aims to teach children how to control their own behaviour based on their own judgement and motivation.

Michelle also offers a variety of wonderful resources for learning more about gentle discipline.  But watch out!  You might find, as she did, that learning about gentle discipline can change the way you think about everything.

Golden Rule Discipline

Alison at Novel Mama builds on the concept of treating children with love and respect as you would also want to be treated by looking at Jesus’ call to follow what we call the Golden Rule.  She points out,

We would never dream of telling an adult to go sit in time-out and think about what they’ve done, nor would we consider one adult slapping the other as an acceptable way of teaching anything. (And implying that God condoned that slap would be considered by most to be spiritual abuse.) Yet we have no problem banishing children to a corner or a room to sit, alone, rather than getting to the root of their behavior, and many people see no problem with deliberately causing a child physical pain to “get a point across.”

She also asks what effect this has on a relationship,

Do you trust people who deliberately hurt or belittle you? If your husband or wife slapped you or shamed you or sent you off alone every time you exhibited poor behavior, what would your relationship look like?…At the heart of the Golden Rule is the concept of grace. We want it extended to us–why should it not be extended to children as well?

Her article is very well written and speaks to parents regardless of their religious affiliation.

The Power of Praise

Marcy at Mighty Marce talks about the power of praise and reminds us it might not be what you think.

Children instinctively want to please adults, and giving lots of very enthusiastic praise can cause them to start doing things in order to please and get that praise, rather than because they truly want to do them (to use creativity in art as an example, they may start making the kinds of drawings that tend to get them lots of praise, rather than what they may want to draw for their own enjoyment).

In this way, praise, can become another tool of control that we inflict on a child to gain something we want.  Marcy offers some pointers from her experience with the Montessori method and some additional resources for learning more about the power of praise.

Today’s feature posts are a wonderful primer to rethinking the way society tells us to think about discipline.  Throughout the week we will have posts that talk about specific ways to incorporate gentle discipline into your daily life.  Please stop back and visit our feature posters!