Thursday, June 30, 2011
Saying something besides "we don't" (w/ 16 month old)
I find myself saying "we don't" a lot to my 16 month old. As in, "we don't hit," "we don't throw our toys," etc. I just don't love the sound of it coming out of my mouth. But I'm not sure why. Maybe because it's a lie? As in, if I'm saying "we don't" right when he's doing it, that doesn't make sense. But I'm not sure what else to say. I do a lot of "please don't" and I think that's better. I do try to state the positive instead, "Please use gentle touches," etc., but sometimes that gets old and doesn't seem as descriptive. Would love some others' thoughts!
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I can't wait to hear what others think about this. I too say both "we don't" and the positive version very frequently.What I've recently been trying to say instead is framing it as a question (which might not work at 16 months?? my daughter is 28 mo.) or describe in more detail what I want.So if she is being rough with someone (her brothers) I could say:"we don't hit" (negative)OR"use gentle touch" (positive)OR"are you being gentle?" (question)OR"hands are for gentle touch/stroking/patting not for hurting/hitting/poking/etc."She is obsessed with eyes right now and she wants to touch everyone's eye balls including her 4 month old brothers. I was saying "we don't touch eyes" but I've started saying: "eyes are delicate so we only look we don't touch. We can touch heads though. Can you show me a gentle touch on his head."I think it is working because she say "no touch eyes" and "touch head" lol :)
ReplyDelete(answer from facebook)I tend to say "I won't let you..." or "I can't let you ..." I think I like it because it is truthful and non-judgmental, not an order and acknowledges that this is a limit *I* am setting.
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